People are odd things.
They amaze, bewilder and stupefy me.
They shake me up, they open my eyes, they sweep me off my feet.
They spark my interest, but usually fail at retaining it - and because of that one flaw, end up getting hastily thrown back into that vast, swirling blur of 'acquaintances' and 'just friends'.
We're all boring people, it's true. We lead boring lives, filled with boring work nobody really feels like doing for boring things that nobody really wants. That is why the people we surround ourselves with are so important - they bring life into whatever we do; they make it real, make it count, so that we have a reason to wake up each morning and charge back into the game.
You lose that reason, if you're surrounded by boring people.
Which is why I am so very blessed that I have the complete opposite as friends.
I admit, I used to have an odd concept of friendship: I have been hurt a lot in the past; far too much, in fact, to the extent that I felt like I could no longer get close to people.
Thus began the vicious cycle of what I'd like to call emotional self-harm - I subconsciously distanced myself from people, creating a solid barrier between our two entities so nothing, not even the tiniest sliver of feeling, could slip through; while at the same time, bemoaned the complete and utter lack of intimacy I had in all my relationships.
It was silly: there I was, pretending these amazing people I had around me were just there as a source of information, data, entertainment; something I could observe and analyze and decipher on my own like some stone-cold anthropologist (remember?), when in reality I was just a jaded seventeen-year-old aching for some closure.
And now they're all leaving, and I finally realized that well, perhaps they did manage to get through that barrier after all.
Today marked the (semi) end of SPM for me, and a lot of lasts. The last time I was going to wear this particular school uniform, the last time I was going to write in BM, the last time I was going to be sitting in a classroom with a few of my closest - I still use this term loosely, mind you - friends.
This realization alone was enough to make me sentimental; but top that off with a foodie outing which comprised of a seemingly miss-matched group of friends (whom I later realized actually shared a large portion of the year with me), eating egg-soaked wagyu beef and chilling out and just having a great time... I was near tears by the end of the day.
I would say I wish I could turn back time and reinvest more time into them, but in truth, I don't. Not that I want to mean that cliche, but I'm happy with the way things are now: the wistfulness, the nostalgia, the quiet rejoicing that I wasn't actually heartless for the past two years.
Like it or not, these un-boring people have actually gotten under my skin.
And I'm glad they did.
Thanks for the memories, guys. I hope you'll remember them, for they'll forever be in mine.
